Women's Retreat, Part 2

Click here to read the 1st part of this story.

So I'm in the class, Finding Intimacy with Jesus Through Suffering. Julie was right, the leader of the class Jamie was about as cute as can be. I just wanted to fold her up, stick her in my pocket and carry her around for the rest of the day. But more so than her cuteness, she was extremely gifted. God has really anointed her with an incredible wisdom and prophetic gifting.

I don't quite remember everything that was discussed at the beginning of the class. But I can tell you that most of the women in there have dealt with suffering that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. As soon as the stories started being shared, my tears started flowing. And I honestly couldn't STOP crying. (Thank goodness for Julie's mom who had a used tissue she was willing to share! Kidding, it wasn't used, just crinkled.) It wasn't necessarily these women's stories that were making me cry, although they would make ANYONE want to cry. It was really more that the Holy Spirit was stirring something up in me. Which was kind of surprising, since remember, I had completely forgotten the weekend was for me to connect with God!

It was Jamie's story that really got to me. She had just gotten past a severe case of post-pardum depression. In fact, it was so bad that she started having flashbacks from some traumatic things that happened in her childhood. So then she developed post traumatic stress disorder. Then she developed the first stages of psychosis! She ended up having to check herself into a mental hospital. Now, this was my first time meeting Jamie, and all I know about her so far is that she's super cute. But I could tell that she was a solid person. And after talking with her a little bit throughout the weekend, she seems to have an incredibly stable life, relationship with the Lord, family, etc. This was just an incredible work of the enemy, obviously. Or something...I don't really know. But what she said next is what threw me for a loop, and I felt like God was using her words to speak directly to me. And it was a tough pill to swallow. This was Jamie's 3rd baby. She had suffered post-pardum depression after her first two, and they thought they were done. But then they felt very clearly God speaking to them about having a third. So they did. And she convinced herself that since God so clearly called her to this that He would not allow her to suffer too badly from post-pardum depression. *That because He called her to this He would make everything okay.* Sound familiar? Remember my "prayer/pep-talk" in the car?

Just because God calls us to things does not mean He promises everything to go smoothly, be easy, go the way we think it should, etc. What He does promise us is that He will never leave us or forsake us.

So I was completely unraveled at this point. I didn't know what to think about everything swirling around in my head and heart. I just knew that God was rising things up in my heart, which can only mean that He's about to do something.

And He definitely did that evening....

Stay tuned for part 3!