Naughty?....
Or nice?....
Or nothing?
Jon and I made the decision before our kids were born that we were NOT going to "do" Santa. We want our kids to grow up celebrating what Christmas REALLY means - the opportunity to celebrate the birth of Christ. Now's the time when I could hop up on my soap box and give you all my very strong opinions, but I'm going to spare you. :)
Now we're not like bah-humbugs or anything...we do all the typical Christmas traditions...tree, presents, stockings, etc. We just make the focus of the celebration all about Jesus. And Santa doesn't bring those presents, Mommy and Daddy do. Because Santa isn't real. But Jesus is!
So now I need some advice. This year, Mylo is 3 1/2, well able to understand the concept of Santa. We just have totally left Santa out of the equation, but this year when he's around all his little friends and cousins who DO "do" Santa, I'm sure he'll be hearing all about it. So this becomes kind of a dilemma for us as parents from a few standpoints:
- We will be telling Mylo that Santa is pretend, but I don't want him to ruin it for other kids whose parents really want to "do" the whole Santa thing!
- I don't want Mylo to not be able to use his imagination and play pretend with his friends about things that have to do with Santa, but I don't want anyone convincing him that there is such thing as a fat jolly man who's "watching you" from his North Pole workshop and flies around in a sleigh with reindeer and invades your house through the chimney.
- If I have a child directly ask me if Santa is real I have no idea what I would say. Because its not my place to "steal" someone's ideal that they've created for their children, but at the same time, Jesus IS the actual reason for Christmas!
So for those of you who don't "do" Santa with your kids either, how do YOU handle all of this? Give me details, specifics, stories, etc. Go ahead and write me a novel in my comments. Or feel free to tell me I'm totally over analyzing this. :)
9 comments:
Ok, so, we've been here and are here again with Taite, past this with Caleb now that hes 6...
We explained to Caleb that sometimes families do things differently than ours, and that is ok. I told him that Santa for some kids is real and that we are not allowed to tell them he isnt. That it would really hurt their feelings if we did and that it is their mommy and daddys place to do that.
Caleb has never once told a kid Santa wasnt real. At least not to our knowledge, and I really do believe if he did, we'd be the 1st to know.
They tell us everything else our kids do :)
People still come up to him and go "so whats santa bringing you?" etc... and he just says "I want such and such" - but he knows the truth.
This has never taken any joy from him... that ive seen and I think it was a good choice..
Until... this year ...
Caleb on the way home from some where was talking to me and said "I wish Santa was real."
I asked him why..
He said "Because I really want to put cookies out for him."
At that moment I questioned our choice to take santa out of the picture.
Calebs thoughts of him were totally innocent and he still understood what Christmas really was abt...
A part of me feels he missed out on something kinda innocent and fun...
But then again... I dont like the idea of lying to my kids either.
So what I told him was "If you'd like we can pretend... and if you want we can make special santa cookies and you can put them out and see if anyone else eats them" :)
he said "ok" and was totally ok with that LOL
So I guess we will start that tradition in our home...
That they will get a special "cookie present" if they leave cookies out for "someone else" :)
But yea.. its hard...
but I do think its the right choice and will help kids really understand what Christmas is abt.
Our kids dont expect a ton for Christmas and I think had we dont santa they would of.
Taite I do think may have trouble keeping his mouth shut ;-) so ask me next year how things go LOL!
ooh, Kate...that's a tough one! You know we've discussed this before in mom's group...
I hate that we "do" Santa, but have not felt lead to raise a fuss yet.
Marvin was raised with "Santa" and I wasn't, so I really have a problem lying to the kids.
I feel sick to my stomach every year about it, because that's just what it is, an outright lie.
I try not to answer any questions from the kids, and let Marvin do it all. (the lying, that is)
Last year I got increasingly annoyed and came very close to answering Benji's question of is Santa real.
Alec has figured it out, and I'm hoping that this year will be the last for the nonsense.
I hate having the focus so much on "what I want" or "what I got" for Christmas, because that's what Santa is all about and it takes the shine away from the real reason we celebrate.
We try and do three gifts only per child, since the Magi brought three gifts to Jesus, and we do advent, and talk about the symbolism of the tree, etc.
Oh, and from the other side of the fence, we have had a kid or two tell our kids that Santa is not real, but I don't really care!! I suppose if a parent really did care and didn't want their kid to know, they could just say something like, "well, who do you believe, your friend or your parents?" or, "well, what do YOU think?"
I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it. I think you are on the right track by saying that some families do things differently than yours.
As Mylo gets older and can comprehend more, you could even tell him that you don't want to ruin a surprise for someone else so he shouldn't tell...
I wish I could offer you some advise - but we don't celebrate Christmas in our house. We do celebrate Christmas with my hubby's step family, but we just do Xmas dinner, and that kind of thing. And this year, it's not even in Montreal, and in Toronto, which we won't be going to because we'll be home with a newborn (who better make his appearance before his Xmas Day due date!)
We've decided not to "do" Santa either. But I have shared with them numerous times (and again three weeks ago during our history study) that there once was a man named St Nicholas who did nice things for people... including bringing them gifts.
There have been a few times that they've mentioned wanting Santa to come so they could "get more presents"... greedy little things:) But we've always explained to them how BLESSED they are to receive any gifts and help them list the people in their lives that are soo generous to them.
We have told them that some families "believe" in Santa... they are a little freaked out that some stranger would come into their house late at night... LOL!! Anyway, we've basically explained to them that Believing in Santa Claus is like a "game".
As far as a little kid approaching you about it, you'll know their family and where they stand on the Santa topic;)
We do not tell our kids Santa is real. I grew up with no Santa tradition and Chuck believed until he was 9. I was ADAMANT that I did not want to lie to our children. He was fine with that but really wanted to include the American tradition of Santa in our festivities. So, when Grace was two I made him a Santa suit and we invented "Santa Daddy." Christmas morning we read the Christmas story, open stocking and gifts and then about an hour later Santa Daddy shows up. The kids clearly know it's Chuck, but it's a ton of fun. Grace is 11 now (Paul 8 and Katie 5) and they still love it.
We've always told our kids that Santa is a game that some families like to play with their kids on Christmas. We say that these other families like to pretend that Santa is real. We tell them that they can't tell the other children that Santa is not real because that would ruin the game for them and that it is the other kids mommies and daddies job to tell them that Santa is not real.
Because we do the Santa Daddy thing we've told the kids to respond to all Santa questions with Santa Daddy in mind. What did Santa (Daddy) bring you? etc.
Grace was very good about not spoiling anyone else's surprise. Paul gets very irked that kids in his class "believe in something so stupid". I think he's said out loud a few times "well, I don't believe in Santa." I try to teach him to respect other families' traditions but Santa is so illogical to him that it's tough.
I think Mylo is old enough to understand Santa as a "game." That would enable him to still play along with his cousins and not ruin the surprise.
As for another child asking you directly, you can always say, "What do you think?" If they get persistent you can tell them that each Mommy and Daddy answers that differently and they should ask their own parents.
I work very hard to make Christmas morning special for our kids and it would drive me "batty" to let Santa take the credit. LOL Maybe I'm just self-centered. :-)
We don't necessarily "do" Santa either...we do talk a lot about how it's Jesus' birthday and just like we get presents on our birthday...everyone gets presents on Jesus' birthday. We even blow out candles on Christmas per the kids requests. What's a birthday without blowing out candles?!?! Anyways...we don't really talk about Santa that much at all and we haven't really thought about what we are going to do in regards to running into spoiling the fun for other kids, but I have friends that decided to teach their kids about Saint Nicholas since that's where the whole Santa Claus thing came from. Sadly I don't really know all the stuff about Saint Nicholas, but it might be worth studying a bit and telling the kids about that.
Kate, thanks for bringing this up. We just had our first baby last week and we have already decided that we are not going to "do" Santa because we want her to be focused on Jesus. But I am already wondering how we will deal with this as she gets older since most everyone we know "does" Santa. Congrats on your pregnancy as well!
wow I will try this again.I applaude you Kate for choosing to raise your kids in truth. I was taught growing up that "santa" wasn't real and Jesus was the reason we celebrated Christmas.I was always thankful that I knew who to thank when recieving a gift on Christmas day.I never had a harsh reality check that some kids had when they found out that "santa" wasn't real.Christmas alway remained pure and untainted in my heart and mind.I believe the myth of "santa" can actually have some potentional to cause some harm in a child view of christmas when they learn the truth.I'm not trying to be all dramatic or say that parents who do teach kids about "santa" are harming their child intentionaly.If a friend of your son's were to ask you directly about there being a "santa' I see no harm in replying "I don't know".It says in proverbs 22 That if you raise your children in truth then they will not turn from it when they are old.So I hope you feel good about your and john's decision. I did spill the beans about there not being a "santa" when I was in 1st grade and was laughed at by all the kids for a month. But the jokes was on them!
When I was growing up we believed in Saint Nick but he didnt bring us presents. The presents were to celebrate Jesus and his birthday. We got three presents a piece just as the wise men brought three things. I never felt cheated and still always knew the true meaning of Christmas.
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