I think I just really need God to break through and meet me in this place. I was praying yesterday as I layed on the couch while Mylo played by himself, yet again. I begged God to draw near to Mylo, and meet him in ways that I feel I just CAN'T right now. I know the Lord knows EXACTLY what Mylo needs, and can fulfill him in ways I never could. But I also just need a touch from the Holy Spirit right now. I need some peace. I need to know that its going to be ok.
Quite honestly, I have dealt with these feelings of inadequacy since the day Mylo was born. When we brought him home, I was a mess. A fierce hot mess. : ) I thought I had just ruined his life by making him come out of my warm, cozy womb, to be with someone who was the worst mom ever. I felt like I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I felt overwhelmed, trapped, and like I was hanging on by a piece of cheap, used dental floss. But when Mylo was 12 days old, we went to church, and it was EXACTLY what I needed. Even though I didn't want to leave the house, Jon STRONGLY ENCOURAGED me to. God met me in a way I have never experienced before. I felt the most loving embrace of God the Father, its hard to even put into words. The sermon was on worship, which as most of you know, is my favorite way to connect with God. Then we had an extended time of worship. I just abandoned myself to God that morning, worshipping Him for who He is, for this AMAZING gift He just gave me, for His LOVE for me. Things changed for me in an instant. I finally had peace. I held my sweet little baby boy and felt like we were both being held in the arms of Jesus. I need that kind of touch again.
Here's Mylo and I a few days after that experience. Notice I actually have a SMILE on my face, and what's that?...do I see MAKE-UP on that face? (BTW...who doesn't just LOVE those Soothie pacies that are half the size of your newborn's face?!)
I really just need God to meet me right now...I know there's no amount of "where's your nose?", or "a cow says moo" that I can do to give my heart the peace I'm looking for. It can only come from the Holy Spirit.
I really just need God to meet me right now...I know there's no amount of "where's your nose?", or "a cow says moo" that I can do to give my heart the peace I'm looking for. It can only come from the Holy Spirit.
6 comments:
Kate, I know what you feel but as I have gone and still going through milestones of 4 kids I will tell you they all are different, one walked at 9 months another did not till she was 14 months, one teethed at 4 months and yet another at 11 months, after you have the second baby you will see that each develops in their own way and time and yes you have to love and encourage them but they will do so when they are ready. Trust me some transitions are easy and a piece of cake and others are true battles, yes the sippy cup can be a battle, all you can do as a mom and parent is read and listen to advice but trust your instincts with your kids and believe in yourself as you know them best. If you ever need to talk you can call me. Love ya
Jon's cousin Lisa
Hey Kate-
I have been lurking for a few weeks now and just wanted to reassure you, you are doing a great job. I have a little boy, Truett, who is 15 months. I, too, worry about him "hitting" each milestone on time, but like you said they don't always know when they are "suppose" to do these things. Truett and I have been going over his body parts for 6 plus months, but in the last 3 months he is starting to realize where and what they are. First, he definitely can tell on YOUR body better than his own. I'm sure this is how they process things. So, maybe show him your belly, toes, hands. He is now able to show you his belly, hands (although sometimes he shows you his whole arm), hair, eyes and teeth. Some things stick out more to him, for example he is fascinated with my hair so he is more likely to find his own hair, versus his nose (he could care less about this). Mylo will pick and choose his favorite body parts and you'll go from there.
Also, when Truett was 7 or 8 months old I had a few friends tell me their little ones were drinking from a sippy cup by 6 months. Anyway, I tried putting something he doesn't get often in there, juice. It worked. Truett will now take anything in there but it took a long time to get him to take anything other than juice in one.
He STILL does not feed himself and I'm not going to worry myself to tears about it. We will work on it as he shows himself capable. AND, remember you are growing another brother or sister for that sweet boy Mylo, don't be too hard on yourself. Take care!
-Heather
Oh, Kate! Do not listen too much to your beloved pediatrician! Mylo is NOT developmentally delayed, and he will not go to college wearing a diaper and drinking a bottle!
I've been where you are before- Alec did (and still does) everything "late". . .isn't it funny how we forget that God's timing is perfect and never late?!
I haven't talked to you in a while; I didn't realize that you are sick with this one. If you need any ideas, or a shoulder to cry on, please call! You know how sick I was with all three. . .I know how hard it is to watch your kid grow up for 3 or 4 months by themselves as you look up occasionally from the toilet bowl!
God is there with you. . .
That's my pediatrician!!! I love him!! He rocks! Yes, I know I didn't tell you yet about the blog... remember, I'm the anti-blogger. I don't read em' I just post pics for my far away family and friends. I still love ya! hee hee
Seriously, drinking from a sippy cup didn't come along until recent years. Lo and behold I did not drink from a sippy cup and I developed just fine. No delays-all in God's perfect timing. My kids barely touched sippy cups and they are all fine also. Kids can actually drink from cups without a plastic spill proof lid. My babies have all done things differently and they were created in my womb that way. God said so in Psalm 139 and praise be to Him for that truth. My oldest was 8 months before cutting a tooth, walked at 11 months, talked up a storm very early, my second didn't cut a tooth till 9 months, didn't walk till 16 months, and talked right on "schedule", my youngest had a tooth at 8 1/2 months old, walked at 10 months old, and didn't talk till we sent him to speech at the age of 2 because of a severe delay. They are all so different and you need to know it and claim in Jesus name today! O.K. I'll get off my soap box now. Blessings dear one!
Awwww! So sorry you're feeling down. The devil has a way of playing on our fears. OY! God has perfect timing and I'm sure Mylo is just perfect... even if he does things a little slower. Which he doesn't seem slower to me. :)
Anyway.... smile! God loves you!
talk to you soon
Brittany
oh and I finally added you to my links. :)
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