Compazine = poison concocted, packaged and distributed by satan himself.
(Read yesterday's post first before this one if you haven't already.)
Sorry to keep going on about this, but I am FIRED UP! The more I read about this stuff, the more I'm convinced I was poisoned! I've read so many people's experiences with this drug and I can't believe its out on the market! I had it good in comparison to some of these people!
Which leads me to my next thing. The reason I wanted to write a second post. I think its an important thing to share that what sustained me through those few days was God. I think it would have been a lot worse if I hadn't been clinging to Him. And to be honest, I didn't even know how to cling to Him...I felt like I had lost my mind, couldn't pray, etc. But thankfully our God is one who knows. I tried my very best to submit every thought to Him, because if I didn't, I would have surely lost it. My prayers were about as simple as they get...
"God, please...."
"Lord, where I can't, I need you to."
"Holy Spirit, come."
I was singing the same worship song over and over in my head and out loud...
"Holy Spirit come,
Holy Spirit dwell,
Fill Your church with joy overflowing,
With peace overflowing,
With love overflowing,
In all of Your glory, come."
I was begging Him to fill my heart with those things. To come in all His glory and save me. I couldn't put thoughts together to read the Bible, except I remembered that verse God gave me a couple weeks ago at the women's retreat from Isaiah:
"Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help and He will say:
Here am I." Isaiah 58:8,9
I just read it out loud over and over even though I wasn't able to make sense of it because my head was so messed up.
I went over to Julie's house one day and had her pray for me, in which I really felt the presence of the Lord. That helped a lot.
So nothing really miraculous happened, but I knew God was right there with me through my suffering. I think it would have been a lot worse without Him. What will people do in hell when they are suffering and don't have God to cry out to? As you read this, do you know Him? Do you have Him to cry out to in your suffering NOW? Or to praise Him in your joy NOW? Oh He's a good God and He wants to draw near to you if you don't know Him.
3 comments:
I was talking to my husband last night and telling him what happened to you and the medication they gave you in the ER. He reminded me that Compozine is the medicine that he is allergic to. He had a horrible reaction to it when he had his wisdom teeth removed back in college. The dentist gave it...not sure the reason...but on the way home in the car his jaw was shifting side to side uncontrolably! They had to turn around and go back to the dentist who then gave him another shot to counteract what was happening. Very scary experience. Any time we go to the dr. ect with him we are always sure to tell them and then tell them again that he is severely allergic to that stuff!!!
Kate~ I have been following your blog for the last month or two and have really enjoyed "getting to know you". We have a lot in common, namely our strong Christian faith and our motherhood feelings/experiences. Reading about your anxiety and depression was like talking to my TWIN (if I had one of my own). I get migraines too and I am so sorry to hear about the awful reaction you had to that medicine. I have never had that combo of drugs before, but I am like you in thinking that the fact that you already had a history of anxiety and/or depression should have triggered them to NOT use a drug that had that strong of a potential side effect. I am so sorry that you had to experience that, especially while you are pregnant. I can only imagine how awful that was. But thank God that we always have HIM to turn to, when it feels like NO ONE else can understand. Keep holding tight to His unchanging hands! I will keep you in my prayers!
www.twiceblessed04.blogspot.com
I'm allergic to Compozine; they gave it to me when I was preggers with Alec- I was vomiting so much I had lost 11 lbs in the first trimester and wasn't able to hold down water for 24 hours. After being on it for about 24 hours, I went into anaphalactic shock (where your throat swells shut so you can't breathe) and had to go to the emergency room where they gave me a shot of Benedryl and I promptly threw up after they discharged me! It's amazing I had two more kids after that!!
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