For some reason I'm a magnet for embarrassing situations. Maybe its because God knows I don't get embarrassed too easily, so He subjects me to these things. ; ) And it seems that the ultra embarrassing situations happen while I'm pregnant. !??!! Nothing too devastating has happened so far during this pregnancy, but we're still early on...there's plenty of time for blush-inducing scenarios. But I had several good ones last time around. I love to share these stories, because they're just too good not to!
The following story happened when I was about 7 months pregnant with Mylo. Warning: if you are a man, you probably won't want to read this! It has to do with breastfeeding and all sorts of womanly stuff I'm sure you won't be interested in!
At the time, Jon and I were leading a small group (bible study). We had one of our group members over for dinner one night. Her name is Patty, and she is as sweet as can be, and IS NOT afraid to speak her mind. : ) She has been a labor and delivery/after-care nurse for like 30 years. She works at St. Ann's, which has the reputation of having an amazing maternity ward. So Patty is legit, and knows what she's doing. After dinner, Jon, Patty and I went up to see Mylo's room. I pointed out jokingly my "lactation station", where I had my breastpump, and told her how important it was to me to make breastfeeding work out. We were talking a little bit about it, and just plain as day, as if it was a completely normal thing to ask someone, she says, "So how far do your nipples stick out?"
Me: "Ummmmmmmm....I'm not really sure. (thinking "WHAT?! WHO asks that?!!?!")
Patty: "Well, do they stick out at least an inch?"
Me: "I don't think I've ever really paid attention."
Patty: "Well, let me see. I'll tell you."
Me: (you have got to be kidding me.) "Umm...no, that's okay. I think I'm alright."
Patty: "No, really, let me see...I'll tell you if they stick out far enough, or if there's something you can do before Mylo's born to make sure your nipples are ready."
Me: (OH.MY.GOSH.) "Really, that's okay."
Patty looks at Jon as if to say, "What's wrong with your wife? Tell her to show me her nipples!"
Jon: "I guess just show her. What can it hurt?"
I look at Jon as if to say, "I will kill you later". But realize I'm probably not going to get out of this situation. I slowly and hesitantly lift up my shirt, to expose my left breast to someone in my bible study group while standing in my son's nursery. Does it get any more embarrassing than that? Yes, it does.
Patty proceeds to pinch my nipple, and what happens? Some colostrum comes out! I could die. Can I please shrivel up and hide under the crib and never come out again?
Me: "Oh. my. gosh. That has never happened before. That is SO embarrassing!"
Patty: in a very soothing voice, "Oh, no...I think its beautiful."
Yeah, maybe to someone who sees things like that everyday for the past 30 years. But not to ME, being pregnant and NEVER having ANYTHING come out of my boobs like that before!!! Let alone in front of someone other than myself or my husband!!! AHHHHHH!!!!
So that's that. Pretty darn embarrassing, huh? I got over it quickly though, and proceeded to tell all my friends to give them a good laugh. I told you...its just too good not to tell!
Don't worry, I've got more up my sleeve, so stay tuned. I don't know if I'm the only one that this kind of stuff happens to, or if I'm just the only one that will actually share it!
So do you have any embarrassing pregnancy stories you'd like to share? C'mon, let's hear 'em!
And don't forget to give me your traveling suggestions on this post!
8 comments:
I just have to tell you that I am reading your post as I sit here at work in the church office. I am DYING....and trying so hard not to bust out in laughter right now!!! That just totally made my day:) I love reading your blog.
When my daughter was about 1 week old, we were eating lunch in the hospital cafeteria. My in-laws had come to visit and see their granddaughter in the NICU.
So...I go to get my tray and notice wetness. I look down and my shirt is SOAKED with two bullseyes. Yeah, I hadn't really gotten the hang of that letdown reflex yet. Heh. Embarrassing. Much less, my father-in-law wouldn't make eye contact with me for the rest of the weekend, even with a dry shirt on.
Gah. Just thinking about it...I cringe.
Oh my gosh! I don't even know what to say. That would have been quite awkward... and did you get Jon a hard time afterwards?
britt
uuu
i "shriveled" up with embarrassment just reading this.
that's traumatic. and. odd.
wow
I don't have an embarrasing pregnancy story just and odd story.
Not sure if it's a medical thing (being your friend was a nurse and the co-worker I refer to was a nurse also) or what but I have a co-worker who had a breast lift and tummy tuck after having major weight loss. After being gone from work for over a month she returned and looked great. We were talking in my office about the procedure and how pleased she was with the results when she whips up her shirt to show me her breasts that now needed no support from a bra apparently. I could have lived my entire life not having seen my co-workers breasts. Truly!
But oh my goodness to your story!!
I gotta be honest, I mean I like Patty and all, but that was just a little over the top creepy....
That was so hilarious and you told it very well.
Oh, my! That is hilarious! I can just envision myself trying to get out of that kind of situation! How funny!
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