Women's Retreat, Part 3

Don't read this until you've read Parts 1 & 2. (just scroll down to read.)

After the class, I spent the day relaxing and hanging out with my girlfriends. It was WONDERFUL to have conversations with them WITHOUT kids interrupting! I almost forgot what it was like to complete a sentence!

That evening we had a session of worship, a speaker, and ministry time. Ministry time is like the "meat" of our church. We pray for eachother every opportunity we can. And we pray with expectancy, believing God to do BIG things. And He does! Often! We see miraculous things all the time. (Click here to read an amazing miracle story where God healed our friend Mark after he had a heart arrhythmia and went brain dead!) Anyhow, the speaker was a woman from our church, Gabrielle. I only know Gabrielle as an acquaintance, and she is a wonderful woman of God. She shared her story, and for 2 hours, 75 women's jaws were dropped. I think we could have sat there all night listening to her story. I have never heard of, seen on tv, etc, a worse case of abuse than what she was subjected to as a child. From infancy, to age 18, everyday, every night. It was shocking. Then she went into the amazing ways God has redeemed her and healed her. Our God is a good God.

After her talk, we had ministry time. People who want prayer go forward. I knew God had been stirring things in me all day, and that I really needed to go up for prayer. And besides, I think every time I ran into Jamie, she said, "I really want to pray for you tonight during ministry time. Make sure you find me." So there was really no escaping it. : ) I went forward for prayer, and both Jamie and a girl named Chelsea prayed for me. Both are amazing women who just love the Lord, and are also moms! As soon as they started praying for me, I felt this immense presence of the Holy Spirit. So I have absolutely no idea what Jamie and Chelsea were praying, because I couldn't hear them over my weeping! I don't know how to describe what I felt, just this incredible intimacy with the Lord. Then Penny, our pastor, felt like everyone who was in that suffering class was supposed to come right up front and get some healing, soaking prayer. I kind of heard her over my sobs...then Jamie said, "I think you need to go right up front, right in the middle, and God wants to bless you even more up there. I know that sounds kind of weird, but I just think its what God wants." Ok. So I did. And she was right. What I already thought was an intense experience with the Holy Spirit became even more intense and intimate! Again, difficult to describe, but I felt like God Himself was reaching into the very depths and crevices of my heart and just bringing some healing to areas I didn't even know about! There was lots of crying, laughing, etc, going on in that room, but I think my weeping took the prize for loudest. I couldn't help it. I just felt like I was in the very presence of God. Then after the weeping came the most incredible peace. That peace we're promised that's beyond our understanding. I could have sat there for days soaking in it.

So what does it all mean? I still don't really know for sure. I do know that I had a very special encounter with the Living God. Remember this post where I said I just really need a touch from the Holy Spirit? Well, God apparently hears prayer requests through blogging, because that's exactly what I got. : ) I asked God the following morning to reveal to me what the work He had done the night before meant. The response I got was Isaiah 58:8, which I of course knew exactly what that was....KIDDING, no clue. I opened up my bible to this:

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help and He will say:
Here am I."

It's okay if you need to read it over and over again. That's what I've had to do. It's a savory one! I think what the Lord is trying to tell me through this is that He can bring healing in an instant. I've had times in my life where I've had to go through lengthy healing processes. And sometimes that's completely appropriate. Like Gabrielle's healing process has taken 30 years so far! But I feel like God just wanted to heal some areas in my heart that I didn't even realize needed His healing touch. I cried for help in that blog post over a month ago. And as soon as I gave God the opportunity, He said, "Here am I." Oh boy, He's a good God. : )

So what's different now? It's hard to just put my finger on exactly what God did, and exactly how I'm different because of it. I can tell you that my anxieties about parenting are WAY down. I was feeling like a prisoner to that for awhile, and honestly it was ruling my days. I know that God loves me WAY TOO MUCH to just leave me in that place of brokenness. And He loves ALL of us in just the same way. So if you need Him, cry out to Him! He'll say, "Here am I."